Nude Florida Man Sporting Cowboy Hat Attacks Woman with Machete.
A South Florida guy is getting charged with three felonies after being accused by police of attacking a poor lady with a machete because she didn't have what he wanted.
What did he want? What any naked man wielding a machete wants? A crack pipe.
Just who is this naked specimen of a man? According to WFLA, his name is Roberto Hercules.
The dude was Nude:
Hercules allegedly attacked the victim last Tuesday while "totally naked." The only thing he had on his body was some painted nails and a cowboy hat!
Police say that before the attack, Hercules approached the victim while she was riding around on her bike. The suspect stopped the woman and asked her for a crack pipe. Although she declined his request. Who could blame her? The guy was already naked and sporting a cowboy hat.
Florida Machete Attack:
I would have thought that he's had enough crack too. Well, Hercules didn't agree and began to chase her with a machete.
The woman jumped off her bicycle and Hercules "continued to strike her with the machete" on the head and left arm, according to the police report. Thankfully, This guy was caught and arrested.
Cowboy Under Arrest:
Unfortunately, there was nothing in the police report about why the suspect's nails were painted or why he was naked in nothing but his favorite cowboy hat. However, there is a bit of a plot twist here.
When Hercules was found by police in a tent near Hialeah, he was STILL naked and sleeping with TWO cowboy hats next to him! I guess if you only, and I mean ONLY wear a cowboy hat... Basically, you better have a backup.
