What is in a name? This is a question that has been pondered for years. It could mean a standard to live up to. It could mean a less than stellar tradition. Or it could also make you laugh. And not in a disrespectful way. College Football has a history of great names, but the 2023 batch is a really good list. Ranker.com has listed the 50 funniest names in college football from the 2022 season. I thought it'd be fun to take their list and build off it with college football's best names for the 2023 season. There will be no discrimination here. Power 5 or MAC players, if your name is funny it stands on it's own. Your conference's television contract won't gain you any preferential treatment. The barometer is making me laugh, not where you play or how good you are.
Some of the best names in college football that we lost from 2022 to 2023 include Tank Bigsby, Thunder Justice-Keck, and Boogie Knight. For what it's worth Thunder Justice-Keck is an all-time name and should be signed by a CFL or XFL team based on the name alone. Some of the highly rated prospects coming out of high school stick out early in the recruiting process. Whether it's funny or just unique, a name that stands out seems to elevate to profile around a prospect. I'm looking at you, General Booty. The season is still a ways away, but let's start looking at the best names in college football for the 2023 season.
General Booty (QB, Oklahoma)
The most famous third-string quarterback in college football. He has a deal with Rock ‘Em Socks producing branded socks and underwear, the boxer briefs say “Booty” across the back.
Kool-Aid McKinstry (CB, Alabama)
Not just a fun name. He is considered to be a top cornerback prospect in the 2024 NFL Draft.
Pig Cage (CB, UTSA)
Transferred from LSU. Parents are Quincy and Yvonne Cage
Decoldest Crawford (WR, Nebraska)
Decoldest Crawford has the “perfect NIL deal” with Omaha-based SOS Heating & Cooling. We should be seeing a new ad soon.
Storm Duck (CB, Louisville)
Originally he transferred to Penn State, but after Spring Ball he then transferred to Louisville.
Shitta Sillah (DE, Boston College)
Played one game last year, then had season ending surgery.
Boobie Curry (WR, Buffalo)
Made Sauce Gardener's list for Sauciest names in college football. The Thai Curry sauce.
Phat Watts (WR, Tulane)
His real name is Nataurean. But I like Phat.
Major Burns (S, LSU)
Third season with LSU. Major is majoring in Sports Administration.
Squirrel White (WR, Tennessee)
Not his 'real' name. Nickname originated from his great grandmother, who called him "Squirrel" as an infant after he moved simultaneously with a squirrel in her garden.
Juice Wells (WR, South Carolina)
Transfer from James Madison. Now a starter for the Gamecocks.
Fish McWilliams (DT, UAB)
Fun name and a solid player. He has been named to the 2023 #BednarikAward watch list.
Kavosiey Smoke (RB, Colorado)
Since everyone pronounces his first name wrong, he'd rather people just call him 'smoke'.
Steele Chambers (LB, Ohio State)
Came to Ohio State as a running back, but switched to linebacker.
Chief Borders (LB, Nebraska)
Linebacker Chief Borders spent two seasons at the University of Florida before transferring to Nebraska. It really seems like a lot of guys on this list are transfers.
Buck Coors (DB, Wyoming)
The fourth-year sophomore is finally healthy after enduring five surgeries since arriving in the program as a walk-on.
Tiger Shanks (OL, UNLV)
Tiger Shanks is Canadian. Has a sister named Maria.
Demon Clowney (DE, Ole Miss)
Recognize that last name. His cousin is Jadeveon Clowney.
Power Echols (LB, UNC)
Living up to that name. Honorable Mention All-ACC (2022)
Hero Kanu (DT, Ohio State)
Didn't just play for Ohio State at Indiana, but registered a sack, too.
Blazen Lono-Wong (DL, Arizona State)
This big DL had choices. Lono-Wong turned down offers from Hawaii and Boise State.
Rowdy Beers (TE, FIU)
Wrap it up with a Florida player. Rowdy is committed to FIU as a TE.
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