Up Your Flirting Game with These Science-Based Tips

If you think you're bad at flirting, the good news is that it's a learned trait. That's according to science. You can up your flirting game with some tips that are actually tried and true, according to research. Having to work at flirting may seem counter-intuitive, since flirting is just supposed to be fun. But, if you want to be a flirting expert, so to speak, give these tips a try.

Hey, you. Yes, you. (Wink.) That's me trying to flirt. Thankfully, science has some flirting tips that are better than mine. These can up your flirting game. According to a new article in Psychology Today, "Flirting isn't an inborn trait. It's a skill people can develop and learn, and science can help." In the article, which is written by Gary W. Lewandowski Jr. Ph.D., they give several different tips on flirting. The absolute best flirting tactic for both men and women, according to the article, is "expressing that the other person was funny by giggling or laughing at their jokes." They site a large-scale study in the U.S. and Norway in 2022 which also stated that, "Women flirted more effectively when they used physical contact and didn't use hugs or humor because those suggested more of a friendly (vs. romantic) intention. Men were most effective when they focused on having good conversations, giving compliments and using humor." Another tip they share is to demonstrate that you're a good listener. The Psychology Today article also emphasizes to simply have fun flirting. That's the point I made at the beginning of this article. Flirting is fun. So, just have fun with it. Don't worry too much. Smile. Laugh. Make eye contact.

TechnologyNetworks.com notes that other factors are great to up your flirting game, too. "Smiling and eye contact are important. Then you can build your flirting skills from that base, using more advanced tactics," said Leif Edward Ottesen Kennair, a professor at the Norwegian University of Science and Technology's (NTNU) Department of Psychology. What's more, VeryWellMind.com notes that flirting can actually be good for your health. They state that health benefits of flirting include boosting self-esteem and confidence, reducing stress, improving communications skills and more. They also suggest to "focus on your posture and arms" when flirting. "Stand up straight and be sure your arms are not crossed in front of you in a defensive gesture," they write. They also suggest to have your "head turned to the side" and "chin tilted down slightly" when you're flirting, plus have a "a slight smile." Hopefully all of these tips will help up your flirting game.