Slime Monsters Invade: South Florida Declares War on Giant African Land Snails

Look out for Giant African Land Snails! We have breaking news from South Florida, where a quarantine zone has been established. Now, you might be thinking, "Oh no, what terrible disease has invaded the Sunshine State this time?" Well, get ready for this plot twist: it's not a disease, but brace yourselves, because it's something far more insidious... slimy snails! That's right, giant African land snails are causing quite the ruckus down there.

Now, I can only imagine the panic that must have ensued when someone spotted a snail in the Miramar area. "Call the National Guard! Deploy all available resources!" I can hear them yelling. According to USA Today, the Florida Department of Agriculture and Consumer Services had to step in, and they've put their foot down with a quarantine. It's like a snail maximum-security prison. If you're caught smuggling a snail out of that designated area, you might as well be smuggling diamonds! They mean business, people. And it's not just the snails they're concerned about; they're worried about the snail groupies too.

But why all the fuss? Well, it turns out that the giant African land snail is one of the most damaging snails in the world, consuming at least 500 different types of plants! These snails could wreak havoc on Florida's agriculture and natural areas. Not to mention, they carry the parasite rat lungworm, which is known to cause meningitis in humans. So, it's not just a snail problem, it's a health problem too.

And how did these snails get here in the first place? Well, they're actually illegal to import or possess in the United States without a permit. But someone must have snuck them in, and now we're paying the price. It's like a bad B-movie come to life.

So, what's next for the snail invasion? Will we see a group of scientists develop a snail-fighting robot or will we all have to start wearing snail-resistant suits? Only time will tell. But one thing is for sure, this snail problem has brought some unexpected excitement to South Florida. Who knew a snail could cause such a stir?

Well, that got my attention. Whether you're here in Florida visiting, or a long time resident, you need to know that Florida has dangers. Sure, we've got our share of fluffy bunnies and squirrels, but Florida animals can kill.  Also, an honorable mention to the wild monkeys near Ocala that have the deadly herpes B virus. No one in Florida has died from that - yet.

Let’s face it, there’s a lot of things down here trying to kill you. There’s 6 venomous snakes in Florida, and only 2 of them were deadly enough to make this list. Deaths from these animals are rare, but not zero. I personally think you're more likely to be injured by a New York snowbird driving into you in a Publix lot. I kid, I kid. I'm only singling out New York because ya'll are terrible drivers. Nothing personal. The left lane is for passing.

Did I ever tell you about the time a guy with Jersey plates wanted to fight me at the car wash in Estero? He had all his floor mats out and was vacuuming his truck so I pulled in the wash bay in front of him. I just wanted to wash off some dirt. He stormed up and was ready to fight because "that's not how you do it." Sorry, I'm getting sidetracked.

Ranker put together a list of  the most dangerous animals here in Florida. Florida Man is a lot more dangerous than any of these animals, but we've covered that extensively. So here we go, with 14 animals in Florida that can kill you.

Did you know? Box jellyfish kill more people each year than sharks. A sting from a box jellyfish can stop your heart. More than 8 different species have caused deaths. And they're not just here in the tropics. They've even, on occasion, made their way up to New Jersey where I'm sure someone guy probably tried to fight it.

I know someone that had multiple brown recluse spider bites on her arm and into her armpit. She didn’t die but it suuuuuuuuuucked. Necrosis, fever, vomiting are all likely symptoms. 

You normally you won’t die if you get bit by one of these, but are you ready to take that chance? One time I was at a transmitter site and opened a panel to find a black widow nest waiting inside. Momma and all her babies.  I don’t help with engineering anymore. Nope.

It’s called a rattlesnake for a reason, it’ll rattle it’s tail to let you know you need to move on. If unheeded, this snake has an incredible painful bite. If you don’t get help immediately, you can die. Painfully.

You knew there’d be a shark on this list. Big and aggressive, they cruise the coast of Florida. They're generally not looking to bite humans but you know, things happen.

Class, this is what’s know as an Apex predator. Top of the food chain. More and more often we’re seeing these beasts on the golf course. Don’t wanna get eaten? Stick to Top Golf. I took this picture in the Everglades from an air boat. Was it smart to stop an airboat on shore next to an alligator? Probably not, but this is Florida. 

Look at how that thing blends in with the leaves – watch your step. Interesting fact, this snake will generally give you a warning strike with little or no venom. The second bite though… Strangely enough my cat does the same thing. 

It sounds friendly enough, except that the “kiss” is actually a bloodsucking bite. Not fun. But that’s not really where the real danger is. These bugs transfer a parasite that transmits Chagas, which may lead to fatal cardiac arrest.

Yes, as in “Jaws”. Like old people from New York, they come down here in the winter for the warmer climate. Fortunately they don't have cars. 

I’ve been bit by fire ants many times, it’s not fun. Fortunately for me after the first couple of bites I’m smart enough to get out of the grass. If you’re allergic, or even if you get enough bites, your body can swell up to the point where you suffocate. The best way to avoid this is to stay inside and play video games. I've probably killed millions of these things in my yard over the last decade. But there's always more. 

Super sharp teeth and don’t normally attack humans. These things can swim up to 35 mph (OMG!) and if something shiny catches their eye, like a necklace on a swimmer, they might accidentally attack.

If you live in a rural area down here, you’ve seen these things. They are mean, and will attack. The best part? They’re full of diseases and bacteria – including anthrax. I knew a guy in North Fort Myers that spotted one but didn't have his gun. So he killed it with a screwdriver. North Fort Myers people are different. 

True story, that picture was taken in Charlotte County. There’s actually no reported deaths in Florida from panther attacks, although they have been know to take down livestock. No human deaths in Florida, don’t want to be the first.

If they do attack, they tend to maul rather than kill. So, maybe scarring and horrible disfigurement? Black bears live in the rural areas and are quite known to sift through trash and if you leave pet food outside – you may get a new pet. These things are why people in Golden Gate have to be careful where they put their trash cans. 

Be sure to check out the companion piece: The 6 venomous snakes of Florida