Florida Drunk Driver Smashes Into Not One But Fleet of Police Cars

Get ready for another tale of the Florida Drunk Driver. It was early in the morning, and an FCSO deputy and two Flagler Beach Police Department officers were just minding their business on East Moody Boulevard. You know, the usual, stopping traffic, making sure everyone's behaving themselves. But little did they know that this day was about to take a turn towards the ridiculous.

Enter our star of the show, a 29-year-old woman we'll call Taylor Kelly. Now, I don't want to judge anyone, but Taylor seems to have had a little too much fun the night before. She's driving her car, swerving around, when suddenly she decides to play a game of "Police Cars Bumper Cars!" And guess what? She wins! But not the kind of winning you want in life.

According to a Facebook post by the Flagler County Sheriff's Office, Taylor manages to crash into not just one, but not two, but a whole fleet of patrol vehicles!  Thankfully, the officers survived the ordeal with only minor injuries. Phew! It could have been much worse, you know? I mean, according to the National Law Enforcement Officers Memorial Fund, traffic incidents have claimed the lives of many officers, and that's no laughing matter.

I mean, they signed up to protect and serve, not to participate in Florida drunk driver Taylor's impromptu demolition derby. So, in case you missed the memo, let me emphasize it for you: DRIVE SOBER!!  Seriously, it's not rocket science. Keep the partying off the roads and in the comfort of your own living room, where the only casualty is a spilled soda.

In the end,  Taylor is apprehended by the Florida Highway Patrol, who probably had to use a GPS to track her zigzagging route. They arrested her for driving under the influence and send her off to the Sheriff Perry Hall Inmate Detention Facility, which is a fancy way of saying "You're in trouble now lady."

I've been boating in Florida a lot and there's one main rule. The driver needs to be sober. I don't care how drunk you get when you get to shore, but drunk boating can get very dangerous. This incident along Madeira Beach in St. Petersburg could have ended much differently.

Not sure how long he had been speeding along slumped over the wheel, but long enough that the Pinellas County Sheriff's Office helicopter was able to get over him and get this video. The boat luckily kept along the shoreline rather than heading to the beach. You can see he was close enough that he went in between the swimmers and the kayaker.

I wish the helicopter would have zoomed in so we could see the looks on the faces of the people on Madeira Beach. I'm sure some of them were just as drunk as the guy driving the boat. Back in high school we called it Mad Beach. Do they still call it that? I have about a week's worth of stories I could tell about that place, but some of the people involved are married and have families now. It wouldn't be right. I'm trying to be respectful, Brenda.

I love the part about the beer can on the deck. Ok, I'll stop. I don't want to spoil it.

I mean, I had to know. So from the Pinellas County Sheriff's Department, here's what he can be expecting.