It’s easy to be kind to others. It sometimes feels natural to tell a friend or a coworker if they have done a good job or the shirt they’re wearing complements the color of their eyes. However, when it comes to us, it can be more difficult. We are our own harshest critics, and it almost seems second nature to nitpick on everything that we think about, say, or do. It’s not about being a perfectionist, perhaps it’s because we put high regards on ourselves that failure is sometimes not an option.
However, it should not come as a surprise that being kind to ourselves significantly improves our mental health. Continue reading and find out the different reasons why you should be your personal cheerleader.
Improve Your Mental Health with Self-Kindness
Believe it or not, self-kindness doesn’t mean being selfish. According to psychologist Kristen Neff, as published by the Chelsea Psychology Clinic, people who are kind to themselves are “Less likely to be critical of themselves and less likely to be anxious and depressed, which, in turn, leads to greater life satisfaction.” The next time you’re feeling sad or worried, instead of reaching out for a bag of Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, why not try saying positive things to yourself? Sometimes, the support you need the most is the encouragement you can give yourself.
How To Practice Self-Kindness
If you don’t have any idea how to be kind to yourself, you can start by doing the following:
Listen to your negative thoughts: Listening to your negative thoughts is different from believing them. When you listen and acknowledge that you have negative thoughts, it will be easier for you to change your mindset when these thoughts invade your mind. According to Laurie Gatti, a licensed professional counselor, “You can change the trajectory of your thoughts with opposite statements” when you start being unkind to yourself.
Allot time to do things you enjoy: Calm, the software company in San Fransisco that developed the Calm app to help its users meditate and relax, suggests you prioritize self-care to be kind to yourself. Make time to pursue your hobbies and interests. Engage in activities that sustain your body and soul. Do what makes you happy! No need to feel guilty if you spend the day reading a book or soaking in a bath until the water gets cold.
Accept your mistakes but don’t dwell on them: If it’s easy for you to forgive others for their shortcomings, you should learn how to do that to yourself too. Of course, forgiving others doesn’t mean allowing them to repeatedly hurt you. It simply means recognizing everyone has their imperfections, including you.
Dr. Adia Gooden, a licensed clinical psychologist and podcast host told SELF, “Mistakes are something that all of us experience, and it’s important to remember that they don’t make us unworthy. We’re still worthy of love, of care, and of taking up space and being alive.” She added, “People often feel like criticizing themselves is going to help them overcome failure.”
Notice what others say about you that makes you feel good: People who can’t accept compliments from others are usually those who have a hard time being kind to themselves. Per Harvard Business Review, acknowledging what others tell you helps you feel better, and including them in your self-talk is another way to be kind to yourself. So, keep receiving those compliments, it’s not just to make you feel all warm and fuzzy, it's also a boost for your mental health.
Give yourself time: Of course, you will not magically be kinder to yourself after reading this post. Dr. Carla Marie Manly, a clinical psychologist, told CNN Health to “Give yourself time to silence your inner critic.” She also added that we should learn to prioritize our needs before others because how can we care for others if we don’t know how to care for ourselves?
Self-kindness goes a long way. Aside from lowering our stress level and easing our anxiety, our overall outlook on life also improves. Next time you’re about to launch a monologue of criticizing and doubting yourself, remember that you deserve compassion, just like everyone else.
