Wow. Talk about the worst T shirt ever. Michael Gordon, 46, has once again graced the Pinellas County Jail with his presence. This time around, he's accused of putting a spoke in the wheels of burglary investigations in Pass-a-Grille.
According to WFLA, witnesses saw a guy sporting tan shorts and a black tee that proudly said "I just got out of prison." If subtlety had a face, it wouldn't be this dude's mugshot. The real crime might be his fashion choices, but alas, we digress.
Our man, with real fashion sense, allegedly dipped his fingers into an unlocked car parked outside an apartment building. Deputies managed to track him down two blocks away.
Stupid T Shirt:
Now, when confronted, Gordon decided to play the silent card, a move we'd categorize as bold yet profoundly unhelpful. Refusing to reveal his identity, he threw out the classic "call my lawyer" line into the mix. Smooth, right?
Well, the law wasn't impressed with his theatrics. So, with some fingerprint magic, his true identity was revealed. And just like magic, obstruction charges were served hot and fresh. If this guy's life were a movie, it'd be Dumb and Dumber.
Gordon's rap sheet includes a previous release in March, so clearly, he's a repeat performer in the criminal theater. Pass-a-Grille, you've got your very own criminal mastermind. Move over Lex Luthor, this is the real deal here. What can we say? It's a tale of fashion faux pas, fingerprint fame, and a man who just can't resist the allure of crime. And a cool outfit. Super Villain Genuius. Right?
Florida Man Criminal Found Hiding In A North Fort Myers Attic With His Face Against The Air Duct To Breathe
Over the weekend the Lee County Sheriff's Office responded to a burglary in progress at a home on 4th Way in North Fort Myers. When the cops entered the house they could hear the Florida Man criminal walking in the attic. Also, they found a 5 gallon bucket on the floor under the attic access and insulation on the floor. This Florida man needs to work on his ninja stealth abilities. But he was resourceful in other ways.
The deputies yelled for him to come down out of the attic, but Florida Man did not respond. The cops put a non lethal gas canister into the attic to smoke him out. He buried himself in the insulation with his face against the air duct system to breathe fresh air. No go on the smoke.
So they had to go up there and get him. Keep in mind how hot it gets in a Florida attic. That's when Florida Man Bruce Davis surrendered. Dude's covered in itchy insulation and the cops are like "we should take his picture first". I get it, this pic could make some solid memes.
What was he doing in the house? According to LCSO "A search of the home also revealed a broken window, appliances in use, and tools scattered throughout the residence. " Appliances in use? Was he making a smoothie? Doing laundry? This Florida Man criminal was charged with burglary and resisting an officer.
Lee County Sheriff's Office
Lee County Sheriff's Office
