A 67-year-old Florida man, Michael Terry Noojin, tried his hand at bank robbery, all for the noble cause of covering his rent. Donning a fashionable ensemble of sailboat and yellow polo, jeans, and white shoes, he strolled into a Bank of America in Hollywood, Florida, and attempted to score $650.
According to the New York Post, Noojin slid a brown plastic bag to a teller, claiming he had a gun and that she should pack the bag with cash. The teller’s response? Cricket sounds. Not one to be brushed off, Noojin amped up the drama, reiterating his gun-wielding position. However, the teller, squinting with disbelief, saw no gun and locked up her cash drawer. Fellow tellers joined the cash fortress, pushing the emergency alarm button for good measure. Security game strong, right?
Old Florida Man Plan:
With his grand heist in shambles, Noojin made a strategic exit. In a miraculous twist, his fashionable bird shirt and his misguided adventure caught the eye of someone who promptly reported him to the police.
Facing the heat, Old Florida Man Noojin spilled the beans in a "non-custodial interview." It turns out, he wasn't destined to be a career criminal; he just needed rent money. His band-aid, which matched the tellers' sketch, and the still-present plastic bag in his pocket were like trophies from his crime. Smooth criminal right?
Ultimately, this Florida man's bid for financial freedom landed him in federal custody. Paying the rent can be a real hustle, and let's face it, we've all been there. But there's the golden rule. Robbing banks should never make it onto your list of brilliant ideas. Age? Doesn't matter. Wisdom doesn't come with wrinkles when it comes to crossing the line. So, put down that plastic bag and pick up some legit ways to hustle for that rent money.
There’s An ATM In Miami That Takes Your Picture When You Use It, Then Creates A “Leaderboard” Of Bank Balances For Everyone To See
Miami is weird, ya'll. This ATM in Miami will absolutely shame you if your bank balance is too low. And seeing how it's in Miami, I have no chance competing.
The ATM is at Art Basel. Art Basel is going on right now at the Miami Beach Convention Center and it is flush with celebrities. Because I'm poor, I'll be honest and say that I don't even really know what this event is all about. But the Kardashians are there, Travis Scott, and Chance The Rapper. Offset performed and was throwing money off the stage. Perhaps money from this ATM. Even Madonna was there.
I was at the Miami Beach Convention Center for their version of Comic Con and didn't see this ATM, so I'm guessing they brought it in for this event.
Up top on the leaderboard is some guy I instantly don't like with a balance of $2,989,381. Who the hell has 3 mil on a debit card? I watched it scroll a little bit I realized that I wouldn't even be in the top 50. So is the purpose of this ATM just to shame poor people? Like me? The poster got a video of this brave person stepping up to the ATM. Now, it's bad enough to be shamed on the leaderboard - but oh - there's some commentary on his balance.
So many people were doing it, he made a Youtube!
This can't be a good idea
I wasn't invited
