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Cyberbullying: How To Deal With It

Teenager boy looking at phone and suffering cyber bullying.

Cyberbullying is bullying that takes place over digital devices such as cell phones, computers, and tablets.  It’s the posting of negative, harmful, false, or mean content about someone else.  It’s sharing personal or private information about someone else to cause embarrassment or humiliation. And, these days, It’s hard to avoid.  

Cyberbullying happens on social media platforms such as Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, and TikTok, by text messaging and messaging apps, in gaming communities, online forums, chat rooms, and message boards such as Reddit.  It can come through an old-fashioned email.  Anytime you or your children pick up a digital device you can be exposed to it. 

The 2021 Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Youth Risk Behavior Surveillance System reports that almost 16% of high school students were electronically bullied in the 12 months prior to the survey.   It is often accompanied by personal contact bullying.

Unlike direct bullying, such as teasing and physical contact, Cyberbullying presents unique concerns in stopping and repairing the damage.  

Digital devices can deliver a tireless stream of cyberbullying by offering immediate and continuous communication 24 hours a day.  There is no respite or downtime for victims to find relief.

You’ve heard it, "The internet is forever." Most electronic communications are permanent and public if not properly reported and removed.  Shared content, including negative or bullying messages, creates an online public record or reputation that can be accessible to future schools, employers, colleges and clubs, impacting your opportunities.  For those caught doing the bullying or participating in it, it can be a permanent record that can follow them through college admissions, employment, and even future personal relationships. 

Cyberbullying is also harder to recognize and often goes unnoticed by teachers and parents.  Unless the screen is shared, they may not overhear it or see cyberbullying taking place.  Victims will suffer in silence. 

The American Psychological Association (APA) notes that any form of bullying can negatively affect the victim’s well-being, now and in the future.  Their research suggests being victimized increases stress and may result in anxiety and depression symptoms.

Cyberbullying can also affect a student’s attendance or academic performance.  Teens – and children - may turn to negative coping mechanisms, such as substance use, as a way to deal with the stress of cyberbullying.  

What can parents do?  The APA reports that studies show preventative measures can drastically reduce cyberbullying and victimization, and parents play a crucial role in it.   

Discuss acceptable online behavior before handing over that first device and set rules for who they can friend or engage with on social media. The APA offers an easy guideline, if they wouldn’t invite someone to your house, then they shouldn’t give them access to their social media. 

Teach your kids about cyberbullying, what it is, and how it can harm everyone involved. Discuss what to do if they come across cyberbullying and encourage them to tell you or the teacher if they know someone is being victimized. Assure them they won’t get in trouble or lose their phone for talking to you about cyberbullying.   

Keep on top of what your kids are doing online, whether checking your child’s device, talking to them about their screen time, or installing a monitoring program.   

Parents should also learn the signs of cyberbullying, which can include increased time online, anger or anxiety after using a device, or hiding the phone or tablet when others are nearby.

If your child is being cyberbullied, keep calm and take action. Nemours Kids Health suggests you begin by offering comfort and support for your child. Let them know it’s not their fault and share any bullying experiences you may have had.  Praise them for speaking out and remind them that you’re in it together and will figure out what to do.  

Report the incident. Notify the school and tell the principal, counselor, or teacher about the situation.  Many school districts and youth programs have rules for responding to cyberbullying, and all states have laws protecting online users that define and establish required school procedures.  Keep your child informed about what you are doing.  

If you feel threatened by a message, immediately notify the police. Block the offenders and urge your child not to respond to cyberbullying; it just makes the situation worse.

Take screenshots of the threatening messages, pictures, and texts. Keep these records as evidence for the bully's parents, school, employer, or potential police investigations.

Bullying and cyberbullying are traumas; if your child is willing, meet with a therapist or school counselors to help them process their feelings.  

There’s a beautiful and welcoming digital community out there, don’t let bullies steal it from you!