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The state of Florida has been around since March 3, 1845. And in that time a lot of Florida weird laws have been passed that have now become very outdated. Most of these laws stay on the books and are widely ignored. There used to be a law that stated “unmarried couples may not live together and commit “lewd acts.” According to FloridaLaw, “A Florida law that banned unmarried couples from living together dating back to post-Civil War Reconstruction is no more. Gov. Rick Scott signed SB 498 which repealed a law that made it a misdemeanor “if any man and woman, not being married to each other, lewdly and lasciviously associate and cohabit together.”

But for every one of these outdated laws that have been removed, many, many more remain. There’s a lot of  Florida Weird Laws throughout the state to appreciate, but I’m going to focus on the ones that most affect us here in Southwest Florida. 2 of these are Cape Coral specific. There’s actually 11 on this list but I found another Cape Coral one after I had finished. I wasn’t going to leave it out, amiright? Maybe I should spend some more time just looking through Cape Coral laws. I’m probably only just scratching the surface.

So let’s have a look at some Florida weird laws, starting off with my favorite one because it’s Cape Coral. Personally I think this one’s an intrusion on how you want to live, but it’s on the books.

  • In the city of Cape Coral a person can be fined $50 for keeping a couch underneath their outdoor carport.

    It may be a great place to hang out, have a few beers and watch traffic, but technically in the Cape – it’s against the law.

  • It is illegal to sing in the state of Florida when you are in your swimsuit.

    So when you see that guy on Fort Myers Beach playing his tuba, best to cover up before you sing along.

     

  • Stealing a horse is a crime punishable by hanging.

    Hanging? Do we still do that?

  • A husband is not allowed to kiss his wife's breasts

    But if it’s someone who’s not your wife it’s ok? Gonna need some clarification on this one.

  • Men may not wear a strapless gown in public.

    Not sure why strapless was the necessary language here.

  • Women, and the salon owner. may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer

    Best grab some Starbucks before you head to the salon so you don’t nod off.

  • Unmarried women are prohibited from parachuting on Sunday

    This is a strange one that’s mentioned often but I can’t prove that it exists or that it’s been repealed. It might be ok?

  • It is illegal to have sexual relations with a porcupine

    Now this one has a story. In 2009 two Russian tourists decided to challenge this law and do just that with a porcupine. It didn’t end well. I’ll give you the link to the story but warn you that it also includes mention of a Russian who tried to force a raccoon into oral sex. That also, did not end well.  Here it is.

  • You must pay for the parking meter if you tie an elephant, goat or alligator to it

    That one actually makes sense. If you’re taking up the parking spot you should have to pay.

  • Being publicly clothed in liquid latex is illegal

    I get the feeling this one is targeting Key West

  • In Cape Coral, it is illegal to park your pick-up truck in front of your house or in your driveway

    Not sure where else you can put your truck if your couch is already under the carport. Cape Coral is a confusing place.