Meth Magic: Florida Man Is Puzzled by Meth Found inside his Underwear
There are many meth mysteries in this thing we call life. But for one Florida man, there was just one burning question that needed to be solved. How a plastic cylinder filled with methamphetamine found its way under Caleb Phillips’ nether regions? Now that mystery is up there with the Bermuda Triangle.
According to the Smoking Gun, 46-year-old, Caleb was undergoing the riveting process of transforming from civilian to inmate at the Indian River County Jail. But as he disrobed, out popped a plastic cylinder from the depths of his unmentionables, filled not with Advil as he proclaimed, but with the kind of crystal-clear substance that would make Breaking Bad fans nod knowingly.
Now, let’s give this dude some credit… Phillips was quick on his feet. When confronted with the discovery, he denied all ownership, painting a vivid picture of innocence. According to the official report, he was “unsure of how the package got in his underwear.” Maybe the meth fairy paid him a visit while he was catching some Zs, who’s to say?
Most likely Phillips is just an idiot who thought he could smuggle drugs into jail. Either way, Caleb seemed to possess a clairvoyant knowledge of the mysterious cylinder’s contents. He insisted it was filled with Advil, conveniently ignoring the fact that the meth was snugly nestled next to the wrong head for the headache remedy. So did the cops buy it? Of course not. He’s a criminal baby!
In the end, his streak of bad decisions caught up with him. He’s now facing charges of narcotics possession and the daring act of smuggling contraband into a detention facility. Whoops.