In a world filled with high-tech scams and elaborate heists, it's refreshing to come across a criminal mastermind who takes us back to basics...And to Mcdonalds. Meet James Brian Oaksmith, a 53-year-old man with a flair for the counterfeit. But don't let his age fool you, this guy's got a knack for nostalgia.
According to a Facebook post from the Collier County Sheriff's Office, our story begins at a McDonald's. James, decided to pay for his Big Mac with a fake $100 bill. Now, I've heard of people trying to sneak in extra fries, but this takes the shake. The savvy McDonald's crew quickly spotted the phony cash and handed it back to James, along with his ill-gotten meal.
But James wasn't just a one-trick pony. James had more counterfeit goodies stashed away than your grandma's collection of nick·nacks. When detectives arrived on the scene, they discovered a treasure trove of counterfeiting equipment in his possession. Acetone, laundry detergent (I guess he wanted those bills to smell fresh), press boards, a laptop, and a printer! This guy was a regular one-man counterfeiting factory.
McDonalds McCounterfeiter:
But the criminal fun didn't stop there. James had been a guest at the nearby LaQuinta Inn, where he had quite the memorable exit. The hotel management decided they'd had enough of his shenanigans and asked the deputies to kindly escort him off the premises. James, ever the multitasker, left behind a room littered with incriminating evidence. Printer paper and latex gloves? Check. A sink covered in black ink? Check.
Back at the McDonalds crime scene, detectives found even more fake money in James' pockets and scattered beneath his table. It's like he was trying to create his very own money farm right there in the restaurant.
It's not every day you see such dedication to the art of counterfeiting. And let's not forget James was already on probation out of Idaho. Looks like he'll have some explaining to do to his probation officer, assuming he doesn't try to pay with fake money, of course.
Florida Man Criminal Found Hiding In A North Fort Myers Attic With His Face Against The Air Duct To Breathe
Over the weekend the Lee County Sheriff's Office responded to a burglary in progress at a home on 4th Way in North Fort Myers. When the cops entered the house they could hear the Florida Man criminal walking in the attic. Also, they found a 5 gallon bucket on the floor under the attic access and insulation on the floor. This Florida man needs to work on his ninja stealth abilities. But he was resourceful in other ways.
The deputies yelled for him to come down out of the attic, but Florida Man did not respond. The cops put a non lethal gas canister into the attic to smoke him out. He buried himself in the insulation with his face against the air duct system to breathe fresh air. No go on the smoke.
So they had to go up there and get him. Keep in mind how hot it gets in a Florida attic. That's when Florida Man Bruce Davis surrendered. Dude's covered in itchy insulation and the cops are like "we should take his picture first". I get it, this pic could make some solid memes.
What was he doing in the house? According to LCSO "A search of the home also revealed a broken window, appliances in use, and tools scattered throughout the residence. " Appliances in use? Was he making a smoothie? Doing laundry? This Florida Man criminal was charged with burglary and resisting an officer.
Lee County Sheriff's Office
Lee County Sheriff's Office
